Everyone likes swag but few people take swag to the level of the swag monkey. The swag monkey has a nose for swag – he can smell it from 5 miles away and has a knack for schmoozing his way into bags of it. The swag monkey will simply not be denied when cheap key-chain flashlights, koozies, stickers, free pens, magnets, coasters, key-chains, patches, and other assorted baubles are on the line.
Is that a pig shaped key-chain with LEDs in its nose? The swag monkey already has 3. There are free fanny packs with built in AM/FM radios three rows over? Get out of the swag monkey’s way! Only suckers spend money on things like drinking glasses. The swag monkey has service for 8 with his collapsible drinking cups from that laser hair removal place. Is it made in China, made from toxic paint and fragile plastic, and free? The swag monkey wants it!
This US Palm Swag Monkey patch came to me by way of EdgeTactical.net.
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